im doing it girls....im taking the leap of faith and there is no going back...i just want to thank you all out there...you know who you are...you have made me see things how they are and how i have a way to go but i can get there with this community behind me, my family, friends and inner strength...
its going to be tough, but im kind of excited?! excited to find myself, rediscover life, enjoy the journey and embrace thoughts and feelings without hiding behind ed...i have so much to be thankful for and at the age of 23, i have wasted to much valuable time giving into ed! it is time to live, love, laugh and sort myself!
I am going to get healthy for myself, my body, my mind, my soul and for everyone out there who cares about me... i want to have beautiful, healthy children in the future....i owe it to my unborn...
and for everyone out there struggling...remember we have the power to change things, we have the power to make things better, we have the power to be happy and we have the power to choose our chosen path...and most of all we have the power to take the leap of faith and discover that even though things may get really uncomfortable at times, we have friends as living proof that getting healthy makes us feel so much better in our skin and minds!
we can all do this, and we have each other every step of the way....no matter how much ed tells you it is safer with him, it is only safe in the sense that you will be alone...it is not safe for your body and health, it is not safe for your mind and thoughts and it is not safe for allowing people to get to know and love the real you...ed has no positives, life does :) xxxxxxxxx
Monday, 22 June 2009
Friday, 19 June 2009
free me
I just want to be Happy....why wont ED give me a break...i tell myself i must recover but ED wont let me...i need tips on how to fight..im losing my determination...i dont want to be like this...i want a happy, healthy life filled with family, friends, children, love health and happiness.....please just let me be free....please
xxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxx
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
xxx
Your blogs are really getting me through right now girls...
Thank you from the bottom of my heart...
xxxxx
Thank you from the bottom of my heart...
xxxxx
Saturday, 30 May 2009
Dont be scared to be beautiful...
Lets not be afraid to be beautiful..
Lets not be afraid to shine...
Lets not be afriad to flaunt womanly curves...
Lets not be afraid to speak our mind..
Lets not be afraid to love..
Lets not be afraid to live..
Lets not be afraid to have fun..
Lets not be afraid to face fears..
Lets not be afraid to feel uncomfortable..
Lets not be afraid to chase dreams..
Lets not be afraid to form friendships..
Let not be afraid to laugh..
Lets not be afraid of freedom..
You know it really hit home the other day...someone said to me 'u would be so beautiful if you were at a healthy weight'...even though my ED is more than just physical and i am struggling mentally...i always think to myself 'your gonna balloon' 'your not going to be loved when your healthy' but the truth is..i will look so muh better..in fact i may even be beautiful :)
xxx
Lets not be afraid to shine...
Lets not be afriad to flaunt womanly curves...
Lets not be afraid to speak our mind..
Lets not be afraid to love..
Lets not be afraid to live..
Lets not be afraid to have fun..
Lets not be afraid to face fears..
Lets not be afraid to feel uncomfortable..
Lets not be afraid to chase dreams..
Lets not be afraid to form friendships..
Let not be afraid to laugh..
Lets not be afraid of freedom..
You know it really hit home the other day...someone said to me 'u would be so beautiful if you were at a healthy weight'...even though my ED is more than just physical and i am struggling mentally...i always think to myself 'your gonna balloon' 'your not going to be loved when your healthy' but the truth is..i will look so muh better..in fact i may even be beautiful :)
xxx
Friday, 22 May 2009
Taking the plunge...
I have been talking the talk for far too long....giving advice, telling others what i should tell myself...
I am now going to walk the walk...im scared, confused, already thinking of excuses but i want this..i can feel it this time...i dont want ED in my life anymore...It brings nothing but self hate, doubt, loneliness and heartache...I deserve more..I deserve to enjoy what ever time i have left...One reason i have kept ED with me for so long, is i am afraid people wont care for me anymore if im not sick...man, people will care for me more because i will actually see them and be able to give my all in friendships and relationships!i will be engaging and not just present, in order to realise people will still love me i have to get to the place im frightened off and realise that i was worried about nothing!
Its time to face my fears...yes there will be challenges but im going to embrace them with all my determination and strength...ED tells me i have been doing fine like this for so long but i want more...I did an exercise last night...i wrote a list of my typical day (with ED) and my typical day (without ED) with ED i am boring, structured, stuck in routines and not living...without ED i can be free, fun, spontaneous and enjoying whatever each new day brings!
I hope i can do this....any advice would be greatly appreciated...i would love to hear how you all push through and embrace getting healthy both body and mind!
Love you all xxxxx
I am now going to walk the walk...im scared, confused, already thinking of excuses but i want this..i can feel it this time...i dont want ED in my life anymore...It brings nothing but self hate, doubt, loneliness and heartache...I deserve more..I deserve to enjoy what ever time i have left...One reason i have kept ED with me for so long, is i am afraid people wont care for me anymore if im not sick...man, people will care for me more because i will actually see them and be able to give my all in friendships and relationships!i will be engaging and not just present, in order to realise people will still love me i have to get to the place im frightened off and realise that i was worried about nothing!
Its time to face my fears...yes there will be challenges but im going to embrace them with all my determination and strength...ED tells me i have been doing fine like this for so long but i want more...I did an exercise last night...i wrote a list of my typical day (with ED) and my typical day (without ED) with ED i am boring, structured, stuck in routines and not living...without ED i can be free, fun, spontaneous and enjoying whatever each new day brings!
I hope i can do this....any advice would be greatly appreciated...i would love to hear how you all push through and embrace getting healthy both body and mind!
Love you all xxxxx
Wednesday, 13 May 2009
Il be back :)
Hey!
I have so much to talk, express, moan, praise about! I have missed you all so much..
I will be back ASAP with a huge post!! i need to tell you about my life, and i could do with some inspiration...Thanks to your blogs, your keeping me going!
Love you all xxxxxxxxxxx
I have so much to talk, express, moan, praise about! I have missed you all so much..
I will be back ASAP with a huge post!! i need to tell you about my life, and i could do with some inspiration...Thanks to your blogs, your keeping me going!
Love you all xxxxxxxxxxx
Saturday, 25 April 2009
helping hand..
HELLO!!!! Wow i have missed you guys...so sorry i have been so lacking in posts but when i finish work everyday i am just so tired! and i have been looking for my first house!!
So, i thought in todays post that i would share some exercises that i am trying to use to help with my recovery....
Postcard exercise
this is like writing a letter to yourself, just to remind you when you are down, what you are recovering for and how worth it, it is. Buy yourself some postcards (mine have love, smile, happy days, i love you etc on the front) and write on the back a little note to yourself.. one example of my note is 'SMILE, you have so much to live for...this is your time..dont let ED take anymore from you...he has taken to much already.. its now time to shine' once you have written your note, pop it in an envelope and seal it. Do this with as many postcards as you wish, and put them in different places around your house, car, whatever...when you are feeling down, open one, you wont know which one it is, but that little note will remind you of why you wrote those words in the first place and give you a lift :)
6 questions
I got this next exercise from a great book i am reading called 'beating eating disorders step by step' the wondeful woman who wrote it, suffered herself and is now fully recovered, she gives hope that true recovery is possible and writes in a way that tells her readers she truly understands.
The 6 questions exercise helps deal with anxiety and self esteem. when you are having a negative thought whether it be about food, weight, life, anything..ask your self these 6 questions..you wont need all 6 questions for one situation, in some cases you may only need to ask your self 1 question..
what are the fears? ask yourself what you are having the negative thought for, and find an example of when you realised this negative thought it not true...for example 'i have no friends' the fear here is that you will be alone and fear of isolation..then find an example of when you had fun with family or friends and challenge the negative thought.
Am i trying to be perfect? ask yourself who are you trying to please? what are you trying to acheive? would you expect other people to reach the high standards you set for yourself? and imperfection is what makes us unique and beautiful..
Was it really that bad? what ever you got upset about was it so bad to get so upset over? are you making a mountain out of a molehill? challenge these thoughts and remind yourself it could have been alot worse...
How much do i want this to affect my life? How important is the negative thought? is it really that big a deal to let it ruin my day? a good example is if you think you have upset someone...many times i have texted a friend and they havent replied...this gets to me and i think they hate me..i later realise they were jusy busy and were meaning to reply when they had a second! that negative thought could have easily been avoided...we have to realise other people have lives and problems and just because i didnt get a text doesnt mean i have done anything wrong...you may dwell on an upsetting event but are other people? probably not...
Am i really to blame for this situation? this is a really good one to ask yourself, lots of people develop ED's because they blame themselves for things that were not in their control. it is so important to ask yourself whether you should beat yourself up over something you can not control..everyone is in charge of their own behaviour..we can not control other people and the situations they chose to be in..therefore we are not to blame..
How would this appear to someone else? This one really helps me...when i find myself fretting over little things and getting myself upset, i ask myself.. would other people be this anxious? and the answer is always no...consider how you would have dealt with things before you were ill or how your sister or friend deals with situations, events etc..
Journalling
Journalling helps me immensely, whether it be a quote, a revelation, a brainstorm..filling a book with positive things i can look back on really helps me through the tough times.
Photo's
Look at photos of when you were happy, carefree and full of life...relive those moments...remember how you felt...you cant go back to them but you can make you future something you really want...
Talking
it really is the best therapy...whether it be to family, friends, doctors, whoever...dont bottle things up..talking really shows that things can be easier when you say them out loud..
Il be back with more exercises...i think every week i am going to post 'exercise of the week' we can all help each other and rediscover who we really are :)
Lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxx
So, i thought in todays post that i would share some exercises that i am trying to use to help with my recovery....
Postcard exercise
this is like writing a letter to yourself, just to remind you when you are down, what you are recovering for and how worth it, it is. Buy yourself some postcards (mine have love, smile, happy days, i love you etc on the front) and write on the back a little note to yourself.. one example of my note is 'SMILE, you have so much to live for...this is your time..dont let ED take anymore from you...he has taken to much already.. its now time to shine' once you have written your note, pop it in an envelope and seal it. Do this with as many postcards as you wish, and put them in different places around your house, car, whatever...when you are feeling down, open one, you wont know which one it is, but that little note will remind you of why you wrote those words in the first place and give you a lift :)
6 questions
I got this next exercise from a great book i am reading called 'beating eating disorders step by step' the wondeful woman who wrote it, suffered herself and is now fully recovered, she gives hope that true recovery is possible and writes in a way that tells her readers she truly understands.
The 6 questions exercise helps deal with anxiety and self esteem. when you are having a negative thought whether it be about food, weight, life, anything..ask your self these 6 questions..you wont need all 6 questions for one situation, in some cases you may only need to ask your self 1 question..
what are the fears? ask yourself what you are having the negative thought for, and find an example of when you realised this negative thought it not true...for example 'i have no friends' the fear here is that you will be alone and fear of isolation..then find an example of when you had fun with family or friends and challenge the negative thought.
Am i trying to be perfect? ask yourself who are you trying to please? what are you trying to acheive? would you expect other people to reach the high standards you set for yourself? and imperfection is what makes us unique and beautiful..
Was it really that bad? what ever you got upset about was it so bad to get so upset over? are you making a mountain out of a molehill? challenge these thoughts and remind yourself it could have been alot worse...
How much do i want this to affect my life? How important is the negative thought? is it really that big a deal to let it ruin my day? a good example is if you think you have upset someone...many times i have texted a friend and they havent replied...this gets to me and i think they hate me..i later realise they were jusy busy and were meaning to reply when they had a second! that negative thought could have easily been avoided...we have to realise other people have lives and problems and just because i didnt get a text doesnt mean i have done anything wrong...you may dwell on an upsetting event but are other people? probably not...
Am i really to blame for this situation? this is a really good one to ask yourself, lots of people develop ED's because they blame themselves for things that were not in their control. it is so important to ask yourself whether you should beat yourself up over something you can not control..everyone is in charge of their own behaviour..we can not control other people and the situations they chose to be in..therefore we are not to blame..
How would this appear to someone else? This one really helps me...when i find myself fretting over little things and getting myself upset, i ask myself.. would other people be this anxious? and the answer is always no...consider how you would have dealt with things before you were ill or how your sister or friend deals with situations, events etc..
Journalling
Journalling helps me immensely, whether it be a quote, a revelation, a brainstorm..filling a book with positive things i can look back on really helps me through the tough times.
Photo's
Look at photos of when you were happy, carefree and full of life...relive those moments...remember how you felt...you cant go back to them but you can make you future something you really want...
Talking
it really is the best therapy...whether it be to family, friends, doctors, whoever...dont bottle things up..talking really shows that things can be easier when you say them out loud..
Il be back with more exercises...i think every week i am going to post 'exercise of the week' we can all help each other and rediscover who we really are :)
Lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxx
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