I have been talking the talk for far too long....giving advice, telling others what i should tell myself...
I am now going to walk the walk...im scared, confused, already thinking of excuses but i want this..i can feel it this time...i dont want ED in my life anymore...It brings nothing but self hate, doubt, loneliness and heartache...I deserve more..I deserve to enjoy what ever time i have left...One reason i have kept ED with me for so long, is i am afraid people wont care for me anymore if im not sick...man, people will care for me more because i will actually see them and be able to give my all in friendships and relationships!i will be engaging and not just present, in order to realise people will still love me i have to get to the place im frightened off and realise that i was worried about nothing!
Its time to face my fears...yes there will be challenges but im going to embrace them with all my determination and strength...ED tells me i have been doing fine like this for so long but i want more...I did an exercise last night...i wrote a list of my typical day (with ED) and my typical day (without ED) with ED i am boring, structured, stuck in routines and not living...without ED i can be free, fun, spontaneous and enjoying whatever each new day brings!
I hope i can do this....any advice would be greatly appreciated...i would love to hear how you all push through and embrace getting healthy both body and mind!
Love you all xxxxx
All Is Well (2015) Full Length
2 years ago