Sunday, 2 August 2009


You all amaze me...

The bloggers who have reached a healthy weight and now living the life they deserve..

The bloggers who have reached a healthy weight, sometimes have their down days but never go back because they know ups and downs are a part of life and they finally know what happiness is...

The bloggers who are trying to gain health and fighting every step of the way with strength and determination...

The bloggers who are making their first steps on the important road to recovery...

The bloggers who have struggled, but picked themselves up again...

The bloggers who have struggled, picked themselves up again, even though ED is screaming because they know recovery is the only way to go...

This whole blogging all amaze me...

How do you get out of depression? how do you pick yourselves up? how do you keep going?

Keep on amazing me to all :) xx

Saturday, 25 July 2009

Need a little help from my friends....

Hello :)

So, dont really know where to start this post...think i am just looking for reassurance, advice, well wishes, support, you name it anything positive i need it!

Im doing it girls, im actually doing it this trying to gain health...i was doing well, eating more, socialising more, truly WANTING to do this for my future..but all of a sudden my mind has hit a low....questions spinning round my head..why are you doing this? do you even feel happier? is your life going to be better with out ED? your losing control! blah blah blah....I spoke to my therapist and he said that the gaining process is the have been so used to being underweight, seeing yourself look like that and when you try to gain you have no time to get used to gradually having a bigger body as you have to keep gaining till you hit your goal..only then can you start getting used to a healthy whilst were gaining, were constantly going through different hormonal imbalances, emotions untill we get to our set point... Thats why some people relapse, thats why i have relapsed before...because i couldnt get used to my everchanging body..i never allowed myself to get to my set point and im scared...scared that i wont feel better when im there and scared that i wont have the mindset to conquer all my dreams...for those that are gaining health, what makes you carry on? for those that are at a healthy weight, is it worth it? is life better for you?


Thanks for your advice girls...we need to do put a stop to ed's XXXXXX

Friday, 17 July 2009

quotes xx

Hello beauties...

Just a few quotes to share that i have heard this past couple of weeks from some wonderful people :)

'life is what you make it'
' people who dont love you when you are better and the real you, were never friends in the first place'
'health is the key to happiness'
'if you stay as you are, your life will never change, you will always feel this way, if you take the chance to change, you are giving happiness a chance too'
'everyone has ups and downs, thats just life'
' how you deal with your ups and downs can shape your life'
' you have a future ahead of you, full to make new memories and experiences'
' being ill effects the people who love you too, not you'
' do the opposite to what ED says and you will feel empowered'
' for every one negative, think of ten positives'
' love what you have and who you are'
think of the bigger picture'
your in the weeds right nowe but there is a green field full of flowers waiting for you'
' people are less likely to want to see you now as it is awkward, people will always want to be with you when you get yourself back'
' remember the past, it shapes you, but now live for the future'
'wat doesnt break you only makes you stronger'
' make your dreams realilty'
' your future can be filled with great things, if you let it'
'show everyone who ever doubted you that you can get better'
' allow people back in, allow them to get close'
' getting better doesnt automatically equal happiness but you have the best chance at happiness, if you dont get better there is no chance to be happy'
'take the leap of faith'
'trust yourself and the people who love you, not ED'
'feel love for being you, not because people worry about you'
' you cant have the life you want like this'
'think of your future children'
' you need to get healthy so you can work on your problems with a clearer mind'
'you need to tackle your problems not run or hide or block them out, they will only come back if they are never tackled'
'everyone deserves to be happy including you'

i have more to share..will be back with more :)

love you all, keeping living for your dreams xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Monday, 22 June 2009


im doing it taking the leap of faith and there is no going back...i just want to thank you all out know who you have made me see things how they are and how i have a way to go but i can get there with this community behind me, my family, friends and inner strength...

its going to be tough, but im kind of excited?! excited to find myself, rediscover life, enjoy the journey and embrace thoughts and feelings without hiding behind ed...i have so much to be thankful for and at the age of 23, i have wasted to much valuable time giving into ed! it is time to live, love, laugh and sort myself!

I am going to get healthy for myself, my body, my mind, my soul and for everyone out there who cares about me... i want to have beautiful, healthy children in the future....i owe it to my unborn...

and for everyone out there struggling...remember we have the power to change things, we have the power to make things better, we have the power to be happy and we have the power to choose our chosen path...and most of all we have the power to take the leap of faith and discover that even though things may get really uncomfortable at times, we have friends as living proof that getting healthy makes us feel so much better in our skin and minds!

we can all do this, and we have each other every step of the matter how much ed tells you it is safer with him, it is only safe in the sense that you will be is not safe for your body and health, it is not safe for your mind and thoughts and it is not safe for allowing people to get to know and love the real you...ed has no positives, life does :) xxxxxxxxx

Friday, 19 June 2009

free me

I just want to be Happy....why wont ED give me a break...i tell myself i must recover but ED wont let me...i need tips on how to losing my determination...i dont want to be like this...i want a happy, healthy life filled with family, friends, children, love health and happiness.....please just let me be free....please


Wednesday, 10 June 2009


Your blogs are really getting me through right now girls...

Thank you from the bottom of my heart...


Saturday, 30 May 2009

Dont be scared to be beautiful...

Lets not be afraid to be beautiful..
Lets not be afraid to shine...
Lets not be afriad to flaunt womanly curves...
Lets not be afraid to speak our mind..
Lets not be afraid to love..
Lets not be afraid to live..
Lets not be afraid to have fun..
Lets not be afraid to face fears..
Lets not be afraid to feel uncomfortable..
Lets not be afraid to chase dreams..
Lets not be afraid to form friendships..
Let not be afraid to laugh..
Lets not be afraid of freedom..

You know it really hit home the other day...someone said to me 'u would be so beautiful if you were at a healthy weight'...even though my ED is more than just physical and i am struggling mentally...i always think to myself 'your gonna balloon' 'your not going to be loved when your healthy' but the truth is..i will look so muh fact i may even be beautiful :)