Saturday, 25 July 2009

Need a little help from my friends....

Hello :)

So, dont really know where to start this post...think i am just looking for reassurance, advice, well wishes, support, you name it anything positive i need it!

Im doing it girls, im actually doing it this trying to gain health...i was doing well, eating more, socialising more, truly WANTING to do this for my future..but all of a sudden my mind has hit a low....questions spinning round my head..why are you doing this? do you even feel happier? is your life going to be better with out ED? your losing control! blah blah blah....I spoke to my therapist and he said that the gaining process is the have been so used to being underweight, seeing yourself look like that and when you try to gain you have no time to get used to gradually having a bigger body as you have to keep gaining till you hit your goal..only then can you start getting used to a healthy whilst were gaining, were constantly going through different hormonal imbalances, emotions untill we get to our set point... Thats why some people relapse, thats why i have relapsed before...because i couldnt get used to my everchanging body..i never allowed myself to get to my set point and im scared...scared that i wont feel better when im there and scared that i wont have the mindset to conquer all my dreams...for those that are gaining health, what makes you carry on? for those that are at a healthy weight, is it worth it? is life better for you?


Thanks for your advice girls...we need to do put a stop to ed's XXXXXX


  1. i am in the exact same spot right now. i go back and forth from feeling strong to feeling like i can't do it. we have to try to stay strong.

  2. you sound so motivated right now, girl -- go with it! keep up with this positive energy!!

    best of luck and please continue to fight <3
    lots of love to you angel,

  3. yout T is right. your mind becomes so convinced that the way you look underweight is the way you should look but the reality is that looking like that will deteriorate your life and steal from all that awaits in the future. Of course, it will be scary but it WILL be worth it. Go take a look at Tori (Almonds and Honey) and Jenny's (Glowing from Withint) blogs and listen to them. Soak up all the excitement, positivity, and genuine joy that they are feeling now that they are at their body set point. Your mind will catch up but only after your body hits the place it needs to be. You cant rely on your own visuals because they arent the truth. As hard as it may be, put all faith into the ones around you who love you to pieces and would NEVER lie to you.

    I think that you do really want this. You want your life back. You want to feel amazing. You want to be a woman. You want to LIVE. Love awaits you. Friendships await you. Adventure awaits you but if you hover in this place, you will never get there. Keep pushing. Believe that it will in face be so worth it in the end. Give it the chance. Everyone and everything deserves a whole hearted chance. Go after it and stick you it. Your chance for happiness is now so dont let it slip away!

  4. Hi love!

    First, I'm so so proud of you for doing this. Never hesitate to email me if you need anything at all!

    Anyway, I've got good news and bad news for you...the bad news is that these doubts will creep up TIME AND TIME again...but that's why you have to learn to fight ED's voice, to keep pushing through even when gaining/recovery seems absolutely pointless...only this will make you stronger.

    Good news is...YES...recovery IS worth it. You WILL find happiness, but you have to be strong first <3

  5. dont let go hun,
    i can only agree with what your therapist said. try to remember all the wonderful things that come with a healthy body. getting your period back, being able to exercise, EATING!!!! , health, strength, fitting clothes again. going back to college, meeting new people. the list can go on and on and on. its all in your hand, its your life, your body does not deserve to be in such a poor state and you are the only one who can control this. if you gain weight anorexia tells you you are loosing control but that's the lie it tells you. when you gain weight the real person is gaining control cause you are starting to take care of yourself.
    keep fighting gorgeous! its worth it!

  6. What makes me carry on is the hope for a better life, and seeing it come to fruition. I'll be honesty - I used to wake up in the morning, look at myself and say "Why are you eating this much food?" But I knew the answer - because it was the only way to survive. I knew if I ever wanted to live, truly live, I had to defeat my anorexia. I wanted my life back and I wanted it to be mine.

    It has been totally, 100% worth the fight. I am a stronger, more determined and perhaps even invincible person now. I am not afraid. I am not weak or pathetic. I am myself again, but more confident than ever before because in my heart, I know I have done something that seemed impossible for so long. My life is better - I have friends now. A boyfriend. And I no longer obsess over every miniscule calorie or gram of food I eat. I don't worry about how many calories I burned yesterday or today or if I'll die in my sleep tonight. I am free to be me. I can live.
    You can have all of that too.

  7. Hi!
    I know we don't know each other and that this post is a few weeks old, but I wanted to reply anyway.
    It's great you're trying to gain weight again. Good luck!
    There is this site I'd like to suggest you, you might find it helpfull: