Wednesday, 28 January 2009

ED rears his ugly head.....

First things first, thank you to the lovely girls who posted on my blog :) much appreciated..also Happy Birthday to Jenny! Have a lovely day xx

So...Unfortunatley ED (or the demon as i like to refere to it) was very much present in my day and plans...I had arranged to meet my friend tonight but after much fighting with my thoughts, ed won, and i didnt i just feel so guilty that i let my friend down, and for what?? all we were going to do was have a good old goss! I dont even know why i didnt go, it wasnt like food was involved :(

Does anyone else get this where they cant bring themselves to go out, even if it doesnt involve food in any way?

I have also wondered how you girls deal with being unable to recognise hunger/fullness and how you stop yourself constantly thinking about food? also, does anyone else allow themselves to have treats or 'bad' food only on certain days? i suppose that is another routine and control i have started adopting...oh to be free! I AM SO READY TO RID MY DEMON...just think i need some stratergies...i have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow so that will be top of my list to discuss...

I hope i havent put a downer on anyone reading this, i just needed to write down how i felt and know that you guys are understanding :)

I know tomorrow will be a better day, and that the bad days are what makes us stronger and even more determined in our quest to get better and happy :)

'The only mistakes we can make is not learning from our experiences' - I think i have learnt from today, i want to go out with my friends and i will find that inner confidence to do so, and i know when i do i will have a great time

Have a great day/evening ladies

Much Love xoxo

1 comment:

  1. Hi there! I just found your blog. I used to be just like you and never go out when ED had control of me. Hang in there! Tomorrow's a new day!