Hope everyone is having a lovely day :)
I had another session with my therapist today and it was really enlightening! i left feeling more motivated to get better and feel great!
We did a few exercises, one of which was to weigh up the pro's of staying at a low weight against the pro's of gaining weight...let me just see my gaining weight list was sooooooooo much longer than not gaining and made me see the life i could have and will have when i make a full recovery :) i highly recommend doing this list for yourselves.
We also discussed the thoughts of being in control...imagine this... you are in a desert and have been given a map to find the water.... there will be many mirages (illusions of water) along the way but the real water is at the end of the journey and will be found if you follow the map...Basically...He made me see that the control we think we get by conforming to ed is actually a mirage, we are always searching for it and think we have found it by restricting but it is never there...we need to follow the map and even though it seems a long way compared to the 'mirages' the real control (water) is at the end of the map :)
Hope this makes sense to everyone... Lets go find the water girls!
Lots of love xxxxx
Hey sweetie~
ReplyDeleteSo I have read your blog for a few days and am really enjoying it and can relate to a lot of it. First of all, the analogy of ED being a mirage when the end of the trail is the real control you are after makes so much sense. ED isn’t really control – he’s causing us to be unhealthy. We don’t’ want to be unhealthy, so why is that control?
Secondly, and this concerns yesterday’s post, I often am reluctant to go out with friends and although I don’t think ED is the sole reason, I know my fear of unknown foods is part of it. And most of it is my need for control, that is rooted in, the cause of and enforced by ED. I have more control hole dup in my apartment than I do going out.
Anyways, stay strong. It’s so good that you realized all the positives of putting on weight. Take care and tell that demon to shove off!
hi girl! thanks for such a sweet comment on my blog, i really think you should try the exercise - it was a really positive experience for me! now i just need to commit to it and believe it 100%, but i'm getting closer!
ReplyDeletei really loved what you said about ED being a mirage... perfection DOESNT exist, and we cant pursue something that isnt out there! we can be the best versions of ourselves, however. but you know all that!!! =)
can't wait to keep reading, and i hope to hear from you, xoxo