Thank you girls for your comments on my last post...it is what i want in the future and hope to acheive someday soon...
Had a hard day today...so many thoughts whirling round my brain...what do i want? what is holding me back? why cant i push myself? WHY WHY WHY...Am i ready for recovery? Its like i have an angel (me) on one shoulder and a devil on the other (ED) every thought i have the other opposes it..good or bad...
I have so many reasons for wanting to get better and everytime i find a new reason i keep focussing on it so much i lose sight of it and it doesnt feel so important to get there and achieve it... im just scared..everyone says you have to truly what to recover to reach it, and i thought i did but im not showing the signs..
And to top it off, some collegues at work made comments about my weight...someone was handing out cake and i didnt have any..this girl then decided she would share her views on me 'course she doesnt eat..she's too thin too eat' then another person actually asked me if i eat!! i was so embarrassed...why do people think they can openly comment on an underweight person? people who are thin are seen as vain...they dont see the pain..
I do want to recover i really really really really do...just wish i could push myself...i know its about baby steps but im struggling to even make those!
All i know is all of your wonderful blogs keep me going and show me recovery is possible
All Is Well (2015) Full Length
1 year ago