First things first, i would like to welcome the new readers to my blog :) I always love hearing comments and knowing that you beauties enjoy what i have to say, so always feel free to comment :)
So Sorry i have been a rubbish blogger recently..I have been so busy with rehearsals etc! Its my show this week and i am so excited but nervous aswell! ED reered his ugly head in many rehearsals, i think it was because i felt exposed on stage, i tried to (rather ED tried to) ignore those feelings and instead thought about food, weight blah blah to consume my mind..Not good when your trying to concentrate and perform the dances to the best of my ability! Prime example that ED does not like you to get the best out of every situation and to actually feel the enjoyment!
I think it is also because of some of the costumes....Lets just say i feel very exposed and i dont really know how i feel about this...I dont even know what else to write about this...its strange!
I have also noticed some fellow bloggers writing about panic/anxiety attacks and i totally relate to this..before ED i was so easy going and now it seems if i am down, the littlest thing triggers a full blown anxiety attack and i struggle to get out of it! It only seems to happen when i am on my own or if i am with my boyfriend, which i hate because i dont want to cause tension in my relationship as he is one of the main people who keeps me going through this. Maybe it is because i know he wont judge me? I just dont know why it is happening and it scares me...After i have one, i always feel more motivated to beat ED but i just dont know how to stop them occurring...how do you cope if you suffer with them? My therapist told me to try and breath deeply and count slowly to 10 and try to take yourself out of the situation, but that is easier said than done. I also need to find out what triggers them, the last time i had one, i felt really full (fullness is something i struggle with) and i think it was just a way of getting my uncomfortable feelings out? im not sure...All i do know is that i DO NOT want to carry on with this!! I want to go back to being easy going, care free and basically a joy to be around...I have hope i will get there :)
So i will keep you posted on how the shows going...looking forward to hearing from you all and hearing about your adventures :) If anyone wants to email me for a chat, advice, or just to say hey then my email is : firstname.lastname@example.org
Hope to hear from you lovelies soon!
Love you all xxxxxxxxxx
All Is Well (2015) Full Length
2 years ago